exxtravirgin's Blog

I have always felt a strong sense of loyalty. Not only to the people in my life, but to ideas and values close to my heart. I'm beginning to see this as a curse. People who are loyal and passionate as I am, rarely ever get that in return. I pour myself out for those I care about and would be there in an instant if they needed me. The second I need them, they are no where around. If it's convenient for them, or they get some use out of me....otherwise I'm just all alone when I'm in need of a friend. It's enough to make me wish I was not so loyal, or there was a way to put it on hold until I knew that person would be loyal back. But that's not being true to me. I care deeply for people, ideas and values. I just cannot trust anyone to have that same care for me. It makes me feel so alone. I know it's important to be there for others. But once I would like someone to be there for me. No judgements, no limits, no holding back....